[strains of "We're not gonna take it...no, we're not gonna take it...we're not gonna take it, anymooooooore" play in the background]
I've been more than encouraged.
And then, I go to a Big Government Meeting. And I lose all hope. Well, most of it. Granted, the Meeting was in Aberdeen, Maryland, and it was mostly men, but still. So, Government Workers, here's my memo to you.
To Whom It Should Concern, but Doesn't, so That's Why I'm Writing This Memo:
From: DC Celine, who has lived and worked in your midst for the better part of a decade, and understands, so listen to her
Re: Style Counts
If you don't understand what that means, here's a few pointers. Yes, they're "Don'ts," which are harder to follow than one might think, but please. Don't.
- If you dress up (i.e. put on a suit), wear your one nice coat and a scarf. Do not wear your ski jacket over your suit. If you don't own a nice coat, go buy one. Hang it in your closet next to your Funeral Suit.
- Do. Not. Wear. Stockings. Wear tights.
- Gentlemen? Buy and wear one suit. The jacket + slacks thing works on 1% of grown men. And they're European.
- Hair gel - if you need it, you need a haircut. If you must use product, gentlemen, use pomade.
- Ladies? I'm all for a fun, statement, fashion piece of jewelry, but cheap jewelry looks cheap 75% of the time. Learn Coco's rule, now, and abide by it religiously.
- Tie clips = N. O.
- Have to take notes at your Big Government Meeting? Get a nice one. For heaven's sake, they hand those suckers out at every convention known to man. Swipe one. Or spend the money and buy one for these occasions. A sprial notebook you borrowed from your tween daughter or a stack of papers falling all over the floor? Yeah. Doesn't work.
There are, I'm sure, other guidelines I could give you (like don't go all matchy-matchy on us, or no sneakers and skirts for the commute), but a) you've heard them all before, and b) you haven't listened. So I'm trying these first. Then we'll tackle the Reeboks with your Liz Claiborne knock-off.
Cc: The World. Because they think we don't do style here in DC, and you're helping to prove them right.