If my hair's pulled straight back, I need to wash it.
If my hair's pulled straight back into a bun, I really need to wash it.
If my hair's wavy and slightly fluffy, I've washed and air dried it - because I can't find my $180 hair dryer whereever I hid it from my cord-happy son.
If my hair is sleek, straight, with just the right amount of bounce, I must have managed to keep an appointment with Jae within the last two days, most likely because The Bean needed her hair cut, too.
If I'm wearing tights, I most likely haven't shaved my legs (and am for one reason or another not happy with any pants options).
If I'm not wearing earrings, I actually bothered to change them yesterday from my standard studs, and forgot to put new ones in this morning.
If my top has some sort of smear on it, I probably put it aside to wash the last time I wore it, intending to hand wash out the smudge, then promptly forgot until I put it on and looked in the mirror, but it was too late to change it.
If I'm wearing flats in the office, I couldn't drive in the heels I wanted to wear, then forgot said heels in the car.
If I'm wearing a blazer, sweater, or some other such indoor jacket, all of my sleeved tops weren't an option (most likely because of, ahem, laundry issues), and all I had left were camis, tanks, or sleeveless tops that show a bra strap or two.
If I'm dashing in to Target at 8:15am, I've forgotten some major piece of my ensemble, such as makeup or, oh, a bra.
If I'm completely put together, coordinated but not matching, hair done, makeup perfect, all accessories accounted for?
Hell hath frozen over.
Badass doesn't have an expiration date. But bad fashion and Go-Gurts do.
1 comment:
Ha, ha! This is hilarious. And so true. You are speaking the language of my daily life.
Post a Comment