Fashion Blogger Hires a Stylist. For Realz.

You know what you figure out when you search your own blog for the last post you did on cleaning out your closet, which you swear was not too long ago?

You figure out that it was in 2011.

Really.

See?

My August 2011 Accessories Cabinet Cleaning. Seriously. It's been that long.

I'm sure - I know - I've cleaned it out since then. At one point early this year, I even had clothes separated out into the Piles Every Stylist Says You Should Make When Cleaning Your Closet: Keep, Donate, and Maybe They Can Be Tailored.

And then we started #OperationPrettyHouse, beginning with painting our bedroom, in which All of the Piles were sitting, and I had to toss them back into the closet. Actually, H did. he hung them nicely, and sorta kept the organization from the piles, but all of the "Maybe They Can Be Tailored" pieces, most of which I really suspect can't be tailored, but I just can't give them up, are hanging there, smooshing the things I can wear now.

So about a month and a half ago, I emailed the savviest stylist I know, Rosana of DC Style Factory, and begged. Direct quote:

"I need official, real, closet help. I need to hire you for a closet audit as soon as you can fit me in. Desperate."

I then launched into the details of the problem, with formal, official closet analytics:

80-90% of the closet is "iffy or completely wrong in the fit department." #healthyme is taking its toll on my wearable clothing
5% OK for work
5% is great for going out
1 pair of trousers that fit me that are ok for work
1 skirt that fits me and is ok for work (a desperate Target purchase)
I make do with creative recycling and ill-fitting clothing
I was hanging onto a whole bunch of stuff hoping I can tailor it
I have not gotten anywhere near the tailor
95 little jackets I use to cover up tanks and Ts that aren't really office appropriate but it's a look I couldn't wear before #healthyme, so i'm in love

And the critical issue? I have a fashionista's dream: 2 large gift certificates to Fancy Stores with which I can strategically change that frustrating closet described above. One we scored at an auction for way below the value. One is courtesy of a grateful business colleague for making a connection to some significant work for his business. He knows me well.

But I refuse, absolutely refuse, to spend that amount of money - gifted or otherwise - without having a really solid understanding of my closet, what's in it, what works, and what I "need." (Because "need" is all relative, isn't it?)

So tomorrow after work, Rosana will ring my doorbell. I'll cross my fingers our nanny can distract The Beans while Rosana and I tear through the closet and Figure This Out. It may be worthy of spectators.

Maybe we should sell tickets. Chelsea of the chelsea chronicles is in...

As a Regular Woman, I need help. As a Fashion Blogger addicted to makeover shows, I've been curious for  years about the experience. I know I have emotional attachments to Clothing I Should Not Be Wearing. I'm curious to see what she'll make me toss, what she'll let me keep. I'm curious as to how much skill-building (i.e. ability to make those choices for myself, vice the sequined mini skirts being forcefully torn from my fingers) we'll do.

And then, like the good Fashionista I am, I'll. Go. Shopping.

And then, like the good Fashion Blogger I am, I'll Instagram it.