Guest Post: TrainerJen on The Zen Art of Running Like Phoebe

A while back, in anticipation of an actual vacation, I asked a few online friends if they would be so kind as to "pen" a guest post for me while I'm away. I realized after the fact that the women I've asked all have voices that have become important to me - all for different reasons. So I'd like to share them with you.

I've made a lot of this #healthyme thing. And I could not have done it without TrainerJen. Jen, who owns Spitfire Fitness Arts as well as training clients at a local gym and teaching yoga at studios in the DC area, has been a rock for me. A rock that has taught me everything she writes in the post below. Case in point, the guy who "attempted to make gym contact" (you know the type) by joking that he thought I had lost a contact or something. I was doing bear walks and crab crawls across the gym floor. Here's what she has to say.

“…you don’t care if people are staring cause it’s just for a second, then you’re gone.” Phoebe Buffay, Friends, “The One Where Phoebe Runs”

Close friends, Rachel and Phoebe, meet in Central Park for a run. Phoebe tells Rachel to go ahead and get started running while she ties her shoe. “I’ll catch up.” Phoebe says.

Rachel has found her pace and breathing rhythm, when Phoebe passes Rachel shouting, “That’s not running! Come on!”

Phoebe flails and lopes away. Rachel drops her head in embarrassment.

This happens in a 1999 episode of the tv show, Friends. It has become such an iconic metaphor for doing something your own way.

In April, DC Celine wrote about the episode in her post, Style Challenge: Running in Central Park, Lion's Breath, and Spiders. Just a few days before that, I had posted a video clip of the episode on a friend’s Facebook page because he was heading out for a run for the first time in years.

Training for 10 years in DC gyms, I have seen so many people taking fitness far too seriously. I see people doing the exact same routine on machines day and day out They seem to have become machines themselves. Other people shy away from trying new movements because they are afraid of what others will think of them.

Phoebe has so much to teach us about living. Here are 5 things I learned from her running style.

Who Cares What Others Think
Humans are meant to evolve. In order to do that, someone has to try something unique. They must stand out. Concern with what other’s think stifles evolution and growth for ourselves and for the whole of humanity.

We can never really know what someone else thinks anyway, so we are concerning ourselves with something we cannot control. Doing our own thing is something we can control. Daring to stand out becomes the act of a warrior.

Running Is Natural
Kids, from the time they can stand, run as much as they walk. They would probably run even more if fearful adults stopped shouting, “No running!” all the time.

Kids don’t have to be taught how to do run. There is no hesitation or worry about doing it right. There is something or someone they want to get to quickly, so they just run. No thought --emotion compels kids to run. Phoebe runs because running is one of the most human acts there is. She celebrates her humanity.

Stop Working Out and Start Playing
Can you imagine a 5-year-old running on a treadmill? It would not take long before they either started to complain, play with the controls or make up games on the machine.

Sometime in grade school, play becomes work. All the life and liberty of movement is forced out. When adults get on a treadmill, we put on earphones, watch TV or read to distract from the monotony of working out on machines.

Back to our episode - Rachel finally decides to give Phoebe’s running method a try, she exclaims, “I feel so free and so graceful!” She is filled with energy and vitality – just like Phoebe.

Be Present with Your Body
I dare you to run like Phoebe and think about your to do list at the same time. The moment you start thinking about something else, you would likely fall into a mechanical, droning jog.

To maintain the Phoebe run you have to concentrate. You have to pay attention. You have to become present with what your body is doing and feeling.

Change Your Thinking
“You have to let it all go, Neo--fear, doubt, disbelief. Free your mind.” Morpheus, The Matrix

Lawrence Fishburn’s voice saying, “Free your mind.” often runs in my mind as a mantra. When, we become attached to what we are able to do/not do, we define ourselves by these limits. “I’m not a runner.” “I don’t dance.” “I can never sing.” We create our own Matrix.

Let go of your old ways of thinking. To run like Phoebe, you have to free your mind to create a new way of moving. When you begin to do that, you discover that you are far more capable of doing things than you thought.

In fact, you have your own unique way of doing things. “This is how I run.” “My dance style is about exuberance.” “I am a virtuoso shower singer.” might be your new thoughts.

Go outside.

Run like Phoebe.

Style Challenge: Running in Central Park, Lion's Breath, and Spiders

I’ve been pretty mushy-touchy-feely lately. Or at least it feels that way. There’s a lot around this #healthyme thing. There’s a lot around a lifestyle change that comes, in part, from a Brand New Job (ok, 2 months old now, but whatevs). There’s a lot that comes from the waking up that happens to parents as their beans (sniff sniff) grow and change and such.

But enough of that. Spurned, honestly, by my revealing my yogic tears from the other day, and then again by by my yet-again comment to a friend about how and why I’m now not afraid to try anything, even spiders, when put on my plate, I’ve been thinking (some more). Then my nail color choice at my oh-my-goodness-I-have-15-minutes-and-peeling-nails-are-disgusting manicure just cemented the whole thought process.

I think we need to take more chances. We need to let go and run like Phoebe.

Let’s back it up and I’ll explain myself.

Yogic Tears: A lot of us work out. A lot of us get to a point where we just can’t go any more - whether in lifting the weight, running another mile, or heck, I’ll admit it, going to a spin class. Ugh. Conceptually disgusting.

Nevertheless, we all hit that wall. What I’ve found, though, is that while yoga is physical training, and I can certainly “hurt so good” on the day after, the emotional chance I’m taking with some of what’s in the class is more useful. I’m taking a chance on going deeper, breathing deeper, and letting go. It’s only when “I think I can’t” that I can’t. It’s only when I block myself that I stop.

So I’m learning to take a chance, do a lion’s breath, and see if I can actually get into up dog after chattaranga. (Translation: do a really hard thing that my body doesn’t want to do - or is it my mind?)

Lion's Breath. Best Thing Since Sliced Bread. Photo: Lazy Lizard Yoga

Spiders on My Plate: I choked on a scallop when I was little. 5, maybe? Maybe older? Not sure. But I still remember it. And from that day forward, the only seafood I would eat was frozen fish sticks and Mrs. Paul’s crabcakes. I blocked it out entirely, missing out on crab feasts, fish frys, and gorgeous dishes in foreign lands. So eventually, I willed myself to start trying it, mostly prompted by having to try it when at someone else’s table. I made slow progress, but still would rarely choose it on a menu.

Then H and I started to fancy ourselves “foodies,” earned more money, and started to go to places like Marcel’s, Zaytinya, Tosca, and Komi, where incredibly talented chefs can coax a delicious meal out of any possible thing. So why, then, would I go to sit at Johnny Monis’ table, where he’s created a phenomenal meal, and say “I don’t eat X?” Why? The first time I sat at Komi, I decided to Just Eat. I would place myself in his hands and just eat. I trusted him.

I enjoyed every single morsel, including things I Don’t Eat. Or Didn’t Eat. Like, essentially, essentially, sushi. Thanks to the 3-way crudo of scallop I happily ate there, I now can’t wait for my next sushi meal. Since then, I will try anything. I will also assume I’ll adore it and want to eat more. Even, as my friend shared a story of the spider stew he ate (while drunk, mind you) in the Phillipines, spiders on my plate.

Kaz Sushi Sea Scallop Sashimi. Photo: Epicuryan.

Color By the Bean: Here’s where we come back to style. You know, the subject of this blog? Today, after a meeting an hour away from my office, I decided to stop in the local nail place in the hopes that they’d have a spot. They did. I picked my color. I picked a deep teal with an aquatic name. Bad blogger, I don’t remember the name, except that I’m fairly certain it’s and Essie polish. But that’s not important. What’s important is that I love it. I love the depth, I love the dark, and I love how, even though it’s dark, it’s springy.

And a year ago I would not be typing this with teal fingers and neon orange toes.

Last summer, during our month-long stint down tha shore, I decided I’d go to the local nail place every week, and that I’d take The Bean. It was the beach, my nails would be on display, and, well, it’s Jersey. The first week, we walked in. “Pick your color,” they said.

I decided then and there that I’d let The Bean pick my colors. It was the beach, my nails would be on display, and, well, it’s Jersey. I even let her pick out matching nail art.

I loved it. I actually couldn’t stop looking at my nail art. I no longer have a picture of it, if I ever did, and it’s not really important. Truth be told, I would never have asked for the swirls. They’re, you know, not, um, stylish. Now, of course, they’re all over the pinterest boards, with 1000 DIY tutorials using tape and small brushes. People, I did nail art last summer.

Through The Bean’s refined color selection palette, I also ended up with yellow toes. Not a soft lemony yellow, and not this year’s neon yellow, but Just Plain Yellow. I was convinced they’d look ridiculous on my redheaded fair skinned feet.

I was wrong. The Bean was right. Yellow toes + nude peeptoes + grey trousers = love.

Point is, oh Infintessimal Readership, that we all need to harken back to Phoebe’s advice and run like a kid. We need to let go of whatever assumptions or presumptions are holding us back - whether it’s on an emotional level, an epicurean plane, or in our closet. Just do it. Now is the time - there are no rules anymore.

So take a chance. Do me a favor and pick one thing you’re convinced you could never wear, be it neon or peplum or skinny jeans or prints. Wear it. Wear it like you’re 4 and one half years old and you’ve gleefully pulled it out of your dressup bin and styled it like only a 4 and one half year old can do.

Then wear it outside.