You Didn't.........? Really?

We all do it. There is no one on earth, not even the most stylish, put-together man or woman to whom we all aspire, that doesn't commit a fashion faux pas once in a while. They may not let it show, but it happens.

And lately, I feel like I'm a walking faux pas. Ill-fitting, untailored duds. Bikini briefs. Which in most ill-fitting clothes, don't matter, but in those 2 pair of pants that actually do fit, yield VPL. Yes. You read that right. Days without makeup of any kind (this damn heat and humidity make wearing anything but the sheerest powder a bear). Bras that don't fit, which let the girls slump. Boring color combinations of black and black. Clothes that should've been retired a long time ago for being just plain old tired. You name it, I've done it.

In solidarity, it turns out that most of you are willing to share. A few weeks back, I asked. You answered:

• Not getting my hair cut for three years
• Sometimes get too matchy-matchy with shoes, belt, bag. Gasp!
• Pantyhose in Atlanta in July. My feet would be all blisters without em.
• hmmm...i suppose my inability to accessorize is considered a fashion faux pas :)

Like my own, all of these could be chalked up to some sort of style-laziness. Yup. I said it. I'm lazy. And so are you. It's what all 25 style reality shows have taught us. We suck, and everyone should be able to put together a reasonably stylish outfit for every. single. occasion.

But reality sets in.

Real reality.

3 of the 4 women who answered are mamas, but I know that even as non-mamas, it's a daily struggle. We'd be remiss and dismissive if we didn't acknowledge everyone's challenges. It's really not that easy to get it together, and we're all envious of the woman (or man) who seems to never have a hair out of place, never forgets to zipper her skirt.

I suppose they're out there, but they probably drink blood.

Out of the Closet

...and into the donation bag.

The other morning, while Grandma had The Bean out for a morning walk, I hurredly tried on every work-related piece of clothing in my closet. Two bags: donations and drycleaning.

Needless to say, my closet is considerably emptier.

We hear all the time about how to sort through clothes, yes/no them. Tim Gunn's got his new show with 4 piles, Stacy and Clinton brutally sort entire racks of old t-shirts into a garbage can, and there are closet consultants and stylists abound, even in this supposedly style-free city.

What it really comes down to?

Be honest with yourself.

Not an easy thing to do, of course, but here are my post-sort conclusions/advice:

1) Set yourself a time limit - one hour. Call it the Clean Sweep (you know, where they give the clutter-a-holics a half hour to sort their house into three piles) method. If you've got to do it quickly, you won't hem and haw. Knowing The Bean would be back and likely hungry any minute lit a fire under my proverbial a##.

2) Use the "if I haven't worn it in..." and pick an honestly reasonable number.

3) Only keep it if you really like it, it really fits (or a good tailor could make it so), and it's not all worn out. Exception to this rule: the first designer piece you bought. 12-13 years ago I spent a ridiculous $700 on a Betsey Johnson crushed velvet coat and black jersey dress. (I was working as an admin for a non-profit at the time. Not having the money would be, well, a huuuuuuuge understatement). I've worn it well, it's still in good shape, still fits, and I just can't/won't give it up. Sometimes that's ok (despite what the gurus say).

4) Only keep "to be tailored" things if you have one. A tailor, that is. If you don't, and don't have a friend who can recommend a good one, then into the donate bag. Why have it hang around for ages if you're not going to have it fixed - ever.

5) After the purge, pat yourself on the back and look lovingly at your emptier closet.

6) Make a list of the things you really, truly need to fill any holes you might have. Note: might have. Just because you dumped a whole bunch of stuff doesn't mean you should fill the closet right back up.

7) Go shopping - judiciously.

I'm at #7. I was pleasantly surprised at how many things fit, and fit well (sometimes it pays to spend a little more money on well-cut clothes, if you can). It's one of the side effects of being a human milk machine. So I'm not even in a panic over not having anything to wear my first day - or even month - back to work. But I do have a few holes I can fill over the next few months. And I will, you can be sure of it.

First on the list? A kick-a## ensemble for H's high school reunion.