10 July 2008


This time last year, I was feeling a little "eh."

My tummy wasn't comfortable. I wasn't in pain, but I'd woken up about 4:30 in the morning just not feeling right. I decided to work from home. I spent the morning sending "Adam will be taking over this project" emails, so I could spend the rest of the week just supporting my colleagues as they took over my projects.

Over the morning, I called the doctor, my mom, and girlfriends who'd had kids. Finally the nurse told me to go in. Waiting for H to come home, I took a walk around the block - it was 90 degrees and the perfect Washington summer day - grey and muggy. It was probably the slowest anyone's ever walked that block.

H was convinced the hospital would send us back home with a false alarm.

Nope, The Bean had begun her approach.

We didn't know her yet, then, not like we do now, anyway, but like in everything else she does, she arrived on her own time and schedule. We just happened to be there.

She's the most beautiful, wonderful thing that's ever happened to me - to us. I'm sleep deprived, exhausted, cranky a good bit of the time, and overwhelmed. But when I come home every day, and no one else matters to her but me, it's all worth it. When I see her stand at her playstation thingy and play, "talking" all the while, it's all worth it. When I see her sleeping sweetly,...well, you get the picture.

My life shifted from classically stylish to "accessible" tops and skirts (my dream right now is to wear a dress again), and I barely have time to wash my hair (another dream: to blowdry my hair). No more will I give the poor mommies on "What Not to Wear" and "Ambush Makeover" a look for wearing whatever's on hand. The Bean just takes my focus in a different place. Doesn't mean I can't be stylish a good bit of the time. I try.

In the meantime, I want to thank the IR for all the wonderful, kind thoughts and words. Even now, as I get ready for her party, somehow the comments you write touch me - the idea that people out there - some whom I've met in person, some not - show genuine care for someone over the Internet is simply amazing. I re-read the comments on The Bean's arrival the other day. Naturally, gushes of tears (they come pretty easily nowadays) - they're at the edge right now, even.

So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Pics courtesty of my cellphone. Whatever would I do without it? I'd never capture any of these moments...though now, just a month later than the last of these was taken, she won't sit still long enough for me to snap a pic - she wants to make calls with Mommy's phone...

from top to bottom: November 07 - I was so tiny then; December 07 - I laugh all the time; March 08 - I'm not telling...whatever it is, I'm not telling (and my first vintage - a sweater someone hand knit for my mommy); March 08 - Protestant Easter in my bonnet and bunny coat; April 08 - Out to lunch with Mommy & Daddy when the paparazzi strike - no autographs, please!; June 08 - a little morning pensiveness


Miss Scarlet said...

Awwwww so precious!

conflictedthimble said...

oh my goodness, how fast the time flys! she is soo beautiful!

prettyinpink said...

she's perfect.

morgan said...

congratulations on one whole year of bean-dom!