Talk about ruts. Yes, it's partially Bean-induced, but man, am I draggin' in the style department. The last decent bit of style I flaunted was my Iisli sweater dress at H's reunion. That was at Thanksgiving. Work wear has been scrounging. What does fit - all three pieces - is in desperate need of drycleaning or Febreeze, and somehow, when I put it together, let's see, how did H put it? I wish I could remember (Bean Brain)...it wasn't as bad as "you look like a mom," which is what he said the day we were headed to a friend's one-year-old birthday party (off came the top I had on, and the jeans, and on went the nicely worn jeans and a boob-hugging printed T - underdressed? maybe. Hip? Yes. Mom? Only if you look really hard to see the binky peeking out of my pocket.)
You see, the problem is mostly that the perfectly respectable and occasionally stylish clothes left in my closet after my Big Purge no longer fit. I've been wary about saying it, because I don't want anyone to hate me. The problem is that, between one-handed eating and breastfeeding (it's true, it does work), I've lost all of the Bean Weight and more. My pants are literally hanging off of me.
I went shopping and bought one pair, which I wear to death. And finally went online at Banana (yes, yes, mass production) to snag a couple of staples on sale. (It helps to know you can count on a particular store's or designer's cuts when shopping online.) Which I found. And they arrived. And two of the four pieces fit - one pair of black slacks and one grey pinstriped pencil skirt. Happy they're in my closet now, but bummed that the brown striped slacks and the pretty white cuffed shirt didn't fit (in between sizes - ugh).
So I had to (sorry Mom!) resort to Mom Clothes. Literally. My Mommy was down on Sunday and left me with a couple of pieces that don't fit her. Monday, the concept wasn't terrible, if conservative. The brown plaid cuffed trousers and a (I'm burying my head in style shame) pale pink ribbed turtleneck. I wish I could say I was channeling Sharon Stone in her stylish days, but alas!, I think I just looked like your average government worker. I didn't even through in a great pair of shoes to help out. Didn't have the energy.
Fortunately, today's a little better. I drug out (is drug the right conjugation?) the black trousers that do fit and topped it with the black version of the mildly offending pink turtleneck. Can't go wrong with black on black, right? We're not in NYC, but hey - whatever works. I made myself feel a little better with a vintage headband (thanks, MIL, for the groovy color!) and my Will-Never-Ever-Throw-Them-Away-Even-Though-They-Have-Square-Toes-and-Stacked-Heels red patent pumps.
The lesson? Less is more (read: monochrome). Then add a splash of color. Oila! Funny Face channeled for 2007.
And yes, I have realized the teensiest bit of irony in the fact that I've 1) referenced Sharon and her Gap turtleneck, 2) I've referenced Audrey, used in Gap ads, and 3) I'm actually wearing a Gap turtleneck. Puns and references oh, so not intended.