What's In My Purse?

Allie did this a while back, I copied, and then, after lugging what felt like a 500lb purse to my afternoon Target break, I realized It Was Time To Clean Out My Purse.

So I emptied my purse.

And then I took a picture. I stood on my office chair, so I could get a good angle for you. The guy whose name I don't know might have walked by and might have thought I was crazy. Maybe.

So here's what's in my orange and ecru Adrienne Vittadini canvas embroidered bag I scored at the Metro Center Filene's back when I worked downtown. Which would be, you know, over 10 years ago.

I love this purse.

We'll start, oh, at the underpants in the bottom left hand corner.

Ariel underpants for the dress rehearsal day in which we went to about 500 places and had multiple outfits. For The Bean, people, for The Bean.
Trident Layers Orchard Peach Ripe Mango. I think there's literally one piece left.
Random piece of cookie box (animal crackers, perhaps)
Beloved Phillies wallet. A little dirty.
Mama tools: baggie with notebook and crayons, unopened pack of Go Fish! cards

And going down the next "column," new-ish case for the now defunct Droid X that I dropped in the Atlantic Ocean Memorial Day weekend. New Droid Razor naturally doesn't fit into said case.
Keys, on my mommy's lifeguarding laniard, complete with working whistle that Bean No.2 loves to blow. Loudly.
Kiehl's Avocado Eye Cream, which I threw in my bag on Memorial Day because I'd forgotten to pack it in my cosmetic case before we went home from the beach.
Receipt from "our guys" who did the oil & filter change on our Swagger Wagon yesterday
Boogie Wipes. A godsend.

Going back up, my bright blue Target sunglasses in the bag from my The Limited tortiseshell sunglasses
Pipecleaner bracelets and earrings bestowed upon me after The Bean's first dance recital
The Bean's Ariel sunglasses
Pink glitter calling card case, courtesy of LOFT about 2 years ago
Container Store coupon I will 99.9% never use
Mama tools: baggie o' snacks I should probably refresh, seeing as the raisins are all smooshed together and the "jelly bar" (translation: cereal bar) is probably disintegrated in its package

Next column to the right starts with Mama's snacks: Ka-Me rice crackers
Random business cards
Fun contact lens case, courtesy of Target, of course
Cosmetics, as if I ever use them from this bag: MAC lip pencil, Tarte lip stain, a peachy glittery gloss, Bobbi Brown concealer, another peachy gloss (birchbox, most of them)
Gold-toned polishes: A Color Club one that stained my nails, and my beloved Chanel Peridot, which doesn't. Just in case I find time for a mani/pedi
Bean No.2's Batman sunglasses he only wears on top of his head like me if he ever wears them
Baggie o' Cheez-Its
Key to the Swagger Wagon
Random Change

Back up, a pen
CVS version of Emergen-C, pretending that I take my vitamins
Washingtonian Cheap Eats issue
Almay powder and blush stuff I bought in an emergency
Coupons from The Front Row, most of which are probably already expired
Wet nap, probably from Rocklands
Random pile of receipts that aren't shoved in my wallet

Back down, a glasses cloth I should keep in a glasses case
Bobby pins from The Bean's first dance recital

There are probably links to a lot of the items above. But, you know, I'm not going to link this time. That's what Google is for.

The scary part of this whole exercise? The only things that probably will exit my purse, thus making it lighter than 500lbs? The rancom box piece, the change in my wallet, and the bobby pins. That's probably only 1lb, if I'm lucky. 499 to go.