10 Things I Need to Do to Win (As Told to 1st Graders)

“Mama, Mama! Can you do this?” my first and fourth grader both waved the elementary school career day signup flyer in my face. I glanced over the requirements, saw that the planners would let us know in a few weeks if we’d made the cut (apparently, it’s a sought-after “position”), and filled out the form. Living in the Washington metropolitan area, with cool parents who defend our country, save lives in hospital rooms, do science experiments, and design catchy ad campaigns, I figured I was “safe.” There’s no way those planners, if they had half a brain in their heads, would pick a “federal government contractor,” and one who is in the business of building business and revenue, for that matter. I mean, how boring could you get?

Then, a few weeks later, the email popped into my inbox. “Thank you for agreeing to come and speak [...].” It went on to detail 25 minutes, incorporating 10 for questions, encouraging bringing things to touch, and assigning me to first grade.

First grade.

That translates to 6 and 7 year old kids. What the heck do they want to hear about federal procurement cycles, account management, and creating winning proposals? Even more, how the heck do I explain that all to them in a way that I won’t bore them to tears? I have a difficult enough time explaining my work world to adults - even those who live in the nation’s capital - but KIDS? Little kids?

Fast forward a few weeks, and, in true federal world form, client deadlines piled up, I got super busy, and I hadn’t done a thing to prepare for my 25 minutes on the (very colorful) carpet. I  arrived in my office pre-dawn, the day of my presentation, as is my habit most weekdays, plotted out my day, and blocked out an hour to create my presentation for my junior audience.

It took me an hour and a half. I researched. I built graphs. I pulled pictures. I realized, as I got started that I could explain, as both H and I do with adults (he’s also in this “world”), that we help the government do its job better. I realized, too, that kids love money, and understand the jobs of the government folks I’ve helped along the way. The federal government keeps us safe (insert pictures of federal law enforcement and the military), helps sick or hurt people get better (insert picture of an x-ray), does advanced research (insert picture of a microchip), helps US citizens travel to other countries (insert picture of a US passport), and builds Really Cool Stuff like fighter jets (insert picture of said fighter jet). I could explain, I realized, that the Government needs help with these things, and that they pay companies for that help.

Needless to say, they got it. First graders got it. I even got a couple of on the spot job applications. (That might have been because I showed them how much money the US government has spent on companies in the years since they’d been born. They want a piece of those billions. They’re smart cookies.)

"Have you ever seen a number with this many zeros after it? That's how much money the government spends on companies. Don't you want to start a company and have them give you some of this money?"

But what really struck me - struck me so much that I used it again 3 days later, when I facilitated a day of account growth training for a client - that the keys to not only doing business in our space (probably in any space) are so elementary, so foundational. You see, I’d made two lists. The second was “10 things I did (and do) to know how to do my job.” The career day planners had asked us to talk about what we had to study and try and relate it to things our audience would do in school. From knowing how to write clear sentences to understanding how money works in a company to “Be polite and respectful to EVERYONE” (we read that one out loud - VERY - together), that list was a hit. Again, they got it.

The first list, though, is the one that stands out. This is the list that I’m going to put in every training, every presentation, and hang up in every office I have from here until my (early) retirement. Here she is, annotated from what I shared with the first graders. Just try and poke holes in it. Just try.

10 Things I Need to Do to Win

1. Listen, listen, listen - I might just leave this one here, with only a reminder to all of us: read it over and over. And then, do it.
2. Work hard - As simple as it sounds, even the cushiest job has times when you have to scramble. Even if you work to live, busting your proverbial butt to get a task or project done, or, if you’re in a service industry of any kind, to help the client? People remember that. Not only do you get the job done, but you’ve improved a relationship. Relationships pay off in spades.
3. Follow instructions carefully - 99.9% of the time, first graders do this better than grownups. Bucking a system or the establishment has its time and place, but sometimes, we need to do exactly what someone else asks us to do. In the federal space, especially with proposals, we have to comply with their instructions. But any business has some set of rules or instructions that apply, whether it’s how to calculate your taxes to complying with licensure. Follow them when it’s important to follow them.
4. Write answers to the customers’ questions clearly and interestingly enough that they want to read the answers - Again, in my space, we respond to very specific US government requirements in solicitations, and they have to read those responses. But being able to respond to clients and customers, whether external or internal, is non-negotiable. If you can’t communicate - the full cycle - clearly and in a way that is easy for those on the other end to follow - you’ll be up a creek without a paddle (as my 9th & 12th grade English teacher probably still says - thanks, Mrs. Byrne!).
5. Be patient - no matter how fast-paced your industry, no matter how much you might be in charge of your own destiny, there are times to wait. Knowing how and when to wait is, like No. 1, one of the most difficult things for humans to do. Practice waiting.
6. Be friendly and make new business friends – customers and other companies - People do business with people they trust. Trust begins because there is a relationship. Relationships start because of the simple things: a kind hello, an offer to help (without a string attached), and because the other person knows you care. In business, that “caring” might be about business outcomes, but if a client or partner knows that you have their best interests in mind and at heart when you interact with them, they will come back to you every time.
7. Stay very, very, very organized - Some environments require this more than others, I suppose, but whether it’s my space requiring me to follow 157-page sets of instructions or a retail business owner who has to make sure stock is on hand that customers want to buy, we can’t do it without staying organized.
8. Be creative and look for solutions to things other people think are big problems - Remember that “mountain-molehill” expression? Staying calm and thinking through options and even solutions that might be the craziest often turn out to be the most productive times. It could be finding the right business partner to get into a particular market or customer, or it could be structuring your company in a way that allows you to work around obstacles. Never assume “you can’t.”
9. Do my work on time - ‘nuf said.
10. Be honest, tell the truth, and do what I say I’m going to do - This one. Oh, this one. My first graders almost thought I was silly for putting this on here, as it’s still core to their beings. Somewhere, though, as we grow up, we lose honesty, and we learn to promise things we can’t deliver. We learn to commit to things we can’t do. Nope. Stop it. Do what you say you’re going to do. Be honest with yourself and those around you, and you will win.

Oh. And the last one? It might help to write a thank you note once in awhile. I didn’t give my first graders that one, but I’m going to write each class a note right now. Remember? On the other list? “Be polite and respectful to EVERYONE.”

She's Got Legs, and She Used Them

It was a typical Wednesday morning. Running late, I ducked into the neighborhood Starbucks, and emerged with my regular quad grande skinny mocha and a spinach feta wrap.

Uh huh. Quad. I have a little caffeine issue.

But back to our story. I got back into the Honda I drove that day, set up my breakfast “table” so as not to drip spinach juice on my dress, and checked my mirrors, pulling out of the spot in the busy lot. I backed up, watching the Honda behind me, checked next to me, and stopped. A man waited to pass.

He motioned for me to pause. Thinking I had a car issue, I rolled down the window. I recognized him from inside the ‘bux (big sunglasses and a man-bun are remarkable in suburban Maryland), but I was still a teensy bit cautious.

“I just wanted to tell you that you have wonderful legs.”

Gape.

Apparently it wasn’t a break light out.

Recovery. Smile. “Thank you,” I said. It took many fibers of my being not to dismiss it with a deflective statement. I thanked him deliberately and purposefully. “You made my morning. Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” he said.

“You’re welcome,” I retorted, as I pulled away and buzzed up my window again. Somehow, that simple nicety felt like a retort instead of a mannerful response.

I drove out of the shopping center parking lot a smidge thoughtful and mildly conflicted.

“Good thing I put on a dress this morning, or I wouldn’t have gotten that compliment.”

“Was I just cat-called?”

“If I was just cat-called, am I OK with it?”

“But I like my legs, their shape, and their strength. How could someone complimenting me on them be bad?”

“I have on small wedge heels today, and I still got a compliment on my legs. Didn’t even need the 5” heels to get it.”

“Did I want a compliment?”

“Interesting that I got the legs compliment on the day I wore a dress slightly shorter than I’d usually wear to the office. I wonder if I’d have gotten the compliment in a longer skirt.”

“Is it OK that I’m happy I got a compliment?”

Let me set the record straight. My hipster-in-the-burbs complimenter had zero creep factor. His words were respectful and straightforward. My gut is that he was doing nothing more than trying to share a little happiness at 8 in the morning.

So why was my brain going a mile a minute, dissecting the encounter?

Part of my mental state is certainly feminist rhetoric. Then again, I’m not one to spurn physical attributes or their application for concern over objectification. As I’ve written before, I’m happy and confident in my physical presence.

There is a difference between understanding the power of your own physical impression and being objectified. Pages and pages have been written about how much first (and ongoing) impressions matter, and how we need to be aware of the message we send with our appearance. When someone turns that appearance against us, particularly openly and purposely, however, is where we we push up against objectification and discrimination.

Whether my simple, practical choice led to an almost cat-call, I'm not sure.

From a strictly office fashion perspective, the dress I chose to throw on this morning was just that: a dress I threw on. We’re still unpacking, it’s a quiet day in the office, and it’ll be 102 degrees today. A straight, sleeveless shift dress that doesn’t cling to any part of my body is a purely practical move. I thought briefly about my hem length, but dismissed the temporary concern because of the dress’ demure cut and picked a lower heeled shoe.

Whether my dress choice opened me up to, shall we say, closer observation, I’ll never know. Any speculation about man-bun-man’s choice to say something to me is just that: speculation. I choose to accept the compliment as such. While it set my brain a-hummin’ with some pretty juicy considerations, I’ll take the smile it put on my face and the reminder of my physical strength as a source of power, and use it kick today’s virtual ass.

Style Dilemma: Hitting the Spring Sales as a Woman Executive

It's been an interesting wardrobe week. I started in my new role, with a new company, and with new people. While a few of the folks have known me for a long time (connections, people, connections. It's how the world works), most don't know me at all. As I finished up in my last role, I was not only tired, but also in a more internal space. I could push the boundaries of "business casual," even in a conservative industry, because I was a) in the "creative" role, and b) rarely around folks external to the company.

Oh, and have I mentioned that I've gained back 20 of the 50 pounds I lost 3 years ago? So even my go-to dress options (love me a sheath, a shift, and a shirtdress - so very easy), which would be perfect for a female executive in a more outward-facing role, are limited. Some still fit, but their numbers are reduced because they just don't fit properly. Let's not discuss the pants.

So inspired by Alison over at Wardrobe Oxygen culling the Ann Taylor sale for us last Friday, and taking Stacy London's 2012 advice to me (yes! to me personally), I decided to do a little online shopping and fill a few holes with transitional pieces that will hopefully serve me well at varied sizes, match my corporate level, and still let me keep a little edge and personality.

I found another easy shirt dress, a denim pencil skirt with some nautically-inspired details, and two wider-legged trousers. The dress is a no-brainer. The skirt, a little higher waisted, will keep me feeling sleek, even when I don't really feel that way. The wide leg pant with the stripe is just too good to let go - it's a tuxedo for the office, after all, and the paperbag waisted pant, though it has widely mixed reviews online, could be just interesting enough (and yay cinched waist) that I couldn't pass it up.

From top left: Ann Taylor Fine Stripe Shirtdress, Ann Taylor Edgestitched Denim Pencil Skirt, Banana Republic Piped Navy Drapey Wide Leg Pant, Gap Paperbag-waist pants

Both Ann Taylor and the Gap companies have sales going on through today (and you can bet your peep toe booties there will be more tomorrow), so check them out - what are you banking on? 

The Joy of a Break

2015’s going to be a big year. I can feel it. Even before changes were afoot in our family and with our friends, things were just brewing. So when it came to be that both H and I are not only changing jobs, but taking interesting, challenging steps (lord, how grown up of us), I wasn’t surprised.

He’s already on his self-imposed break, much deserved and very needed. He has a list of Things, but part of it is to just hang out with our Beans more, work on his Voice audition song, and take a breather. I’m done this phase of my career this Friday. I’ve got a few days “to myself” before we take a little getaway and then return to start the new phase.

We have laundry to fold. We have food to cook and stock in the freezer. We have boxes to sort, piles to donate. We have doctors appointments to schedule and make. Then there’s the list of things I need to do for me.

1. I need to read a book

2. I need to get a haircut

3. I need to get a mani/pedi for the first time in I don’t know how many months

4. I need to go for a run

5. I need to take a nap

6. I need to buy some new black pumps...and maybe some red ones

7. I need to have lunch with my man

I know I won’t be able to get all of the Things in. I also know that these things are really “needs.” They’re things I know will grant me a little space and a little freedom to just be.

And I can’t wait.

Britney Survived 2007 (Now with Winner!)

Ladies, the ladies I know have had it rough lately. Nothing terrible, just one thing after another. First, a bad morning, then an especially long commute. After that, a deadline missed (by someone else, which pushes back your deadline), complicated by a cold. Or the stomach flu.

A couple of us keep saying that 2015 is gonna be the year of change, and the year of Great Things. I may have said that myself lately, more than a few times. In the process, though, change hurts like a mofo.

So when I saw this mug in my Instagram feed this morning, I kinda just had to. And then I realized, well, how 'bout I share some of the love? We could all use a little strength, and if it comes with a little levity, all the better, and best if there's room for your favorite caffeine. Which there is. 15oz' worth.

So, my friends, if you'd like a shot at a mug, give me your best shot, share the best craptastic story you have from your own personal life so far in 2015 in the comments. It can be funny, serious, silly, or morbid. I have no strict rules, just that you have to share your story in the comments here on the blog (not on Facebook or my other social media channels) by 12:00am March 1, 2015. That gives you 2 more weeks, even, to come up with more soul crushing insanity. Then I'll peruse the stories and pick one, and post a winner on my Facebook page, as the easiest way to let folks know, and find a way to get it to you. (Hint, hint, follow me over there!)

Go on. Give it your best shot.

Winner Update: Deb, this mug is yours. I'm all about putting this mug in front of that sort of soul-crushing behavior. Stand tall, sit straight, and drink up. (I'll be in touch to get the mug to you.)

Thanks to all of you puke-ridden candidates (really, there's a lot of vomit lately). Wish I could give you all something to get through...so maybe I'll find a way for another contest soon.

Style Dilemma Solved: 10 Pieces, 10 Days

The Alexandria Stylebook team called for volunteers to join their “10 for 10” experiment: 10 pieces of clothing for 10 days. Accessories, shoes, and outerwear? Up to each participant how “hardcore” they wanted to be.

“I don’t have time. I don’t have clean clothes. I don’t like my clean clothes.”

Then I thought about it for a few seconds, without the excuses.

Truth of it is, I’m in a funk. The DayJob is demanding. The Beans have their own demands. Exercise and even eating well, which got me to my #healthyme goal a little over 2 years ago (first post in the series here, and all of them here), aren’t just in the back seat, they’re in the “way back.” I’m up 10-15 pounds from my fit, happy place, where I feel strong and sleek. My closet is full of clothes that fit the strong, sleek me much better than the now me, if at all. I have a few pieces that are more forgiving than others, and I rewear them. Over and over and over.

“So why not?” I thought. I do it anyway.

“But you don’t have time to pick out the 10 pieces,” my scaredy-cat self protested. I was up to the wall with deadlines as it started. I didn’t even know where in our house some of my “old reliable” pieces were hiding.

On that first Friday, though, I got out of bed, got the Beans ready, made my green smoothie, and got dressed. I thought carefully about what I would wear on that casual Friday that wasn’t completely casual (I had meetings).

That first Friday, I picked a simple black sweater (old, a v-neck version here), navy skinny “jeans” (old, but these would give a similar effect) a heathered blazer (similar), and riding boots (similar). I accessorized with a scarf (similar). I figured that I could rewear these three pieces with just about anything in my wardrobe. We’d see.

Saturday, we went skiing, so I “cheated” with cold weather workout wear. Then Sunday, even as I donned my church clothes, I was back to it. I added another piece (a pink shirt, old, but this army green would be a great option), but used the blazer and pants again, building to four.

As I've had most of these pieces in my closet forever, they're not available any longer, but Banana Republic always has a good grey trouser and pencil skirt, and I wore my Aerin booties from The Shoe Hive practically daily.

As the week progressed, I added a piece or two a day, until I was up to the ten. I opted to keep the outerwear, accessories, and footwear out of the count, though in the end, I wore a number of those pieces repeatedly. When it’s freezing cold, for example, I will only wear my one blue wool coat. My riding boots were a staple, and my sole pair (pun not at all intended) of black shoes - black suede booties - even garnered a “You’ve been wearing those shoes a lot,” from H.

I suppose I’m lucky. I work in two different offices, and had at least one day with meetings entirely outside of the office, so no one group of people saw me in the same clothes, even if I wore them 2 days in a row. (I do wonder if other people really would notice duplicate ensembles. Perhaps that’s another experiment.) As early as a couple of days in, I welcomed the limited choices. Not having to go through a full closet of things I didn’t want to or couldn’t wear every morning? The lack of choice felt like pure, comfortable luxury.

Capsule wardrobes are in. Stylists preach “quality over quantity.” Magazines publish article after article about the 5, 10, 15 basic pieces every woman needs to anchor her closet. I agree with all of them. While I love me a good Target find (and will “splurge” on a silly, fun piece like a Grinch Christmas sweater), for years I’ve considered possible new purchases as they fit both into my existing closet with other items and into my lifestyle. Yet somehow I ended up with a closet full of things I didn’t feel I could wear, and found myself freed by the 10 for 10 exercise.

Having 10 pieces of clothing for 10 days (if you can do the math, which I can’t, any longer, there are exponential combinations) was a relief. For where I am right now, having fewer - and carefully considered - choices let me focus on other things (like getting my makeup on daily, though washing my hair is another story) each morning. Looking back, this sort of closet should be a no-brainer for me. I’m the sort of person who can juggle a lot - as long as I maintain certain systems, like putting my purse, keys, and gloves in the exact same place every single time I come in the house. It makes perfect, logical, head-slapping sense that limiting my wardrobe choices when I’ve got a particularly full plate would work well.

Did I feel amazing in every combination? No, I didn’t. I did, however, feel polished and sleek. I felt considered, professional, and elegant. Even on weekends, when normally I’d err on the side of jeans and a T, I turned to my darker, dressier wash (albeit boyfriend) jeans and that original black sweater or one of two button downs I’d added within a few days. By the end of the 10 days, I also realized that I’d turned to menswear. I used a black skirt and a grey and black dress, but those button downs and jackets were straight up off a boy. My favorite ensemble, the one in which I felt the most kick-ass? Chalk that up to the the day when I channeled both Lauren Bacall and Lauren Hutton (and Kate Hepburn, my original trousers-wearing-idol) in a perfectly slouchy silky pink button down and tailored grey trousers.

I started the exercise as a bit of a lark. It became a tool to navigate a stressful time, and emerged as confirmation of my personal style. What I wore is what I love best - it’s what I feel best in, style-wise. In the end, you can take the girl out of...well, you can take the girl out of it, and give her boys’ clothes, but she’ll always add sparkly earrings and kick your ass while wearing red lips. At least this one will.

Would you do a “10 for 10?” What would be in your capsule? What would you consider as you selected pieces?

Style Inspiration: Defining Your Style Using Pinterest

"You have a lot of dresses."

"This is so ladylike, I want to sex it up a bit."

"You like earth, don't you?"

All three of these statements came out of DC Style Factory's Rosana - directed at me - last Wednesday afternoon.

As we plowed through my overflowing, unmanageable closet, things made themselves clear. There's more to share, and I'll give more of a blow-by-blow on our experience (hint: we. had. so. much. fun.) soon, I promise, but the crux of it is:

Now that my closet is culled, I can see clearly.

I can see clearly what speaks to me - or rather, what has already spoken to me. It's in my closet. Perhaps I'm an unusual client, in that respect, as I do have a sense of what I like. That being said, I didn't think I knew myself as well as I apparently do. Not only is it on my hangers and in my drawers, but it's also on my boards. Even as I started to pin things for my emerging #healthyme body last year, I knew. I may not have known what size would fit, and I may not have known which new silhouettes I could try, but I knew what I was drawn to.

Then I looked at my Pinterest boards. It was all there. Right here. I have  loads more boards, but the essence of it is there, methinks. (Rosana might take issue with these, but I'll let her tell me I'm wrong.)

So if you're starting to redefine - or even define - your style, my biggest piece of advice, akin to the old-school "cut-pictures-out-of-magazines-and-take-them-to-your-salon" schtick? It's in four parts:

1) Get thee to Pinterest and start a board for your new style, your new closet, your new drawers. Whatever you want to call it, your New You.

2) Pin. Pin anything that catches your eye. But here's the catch: make sure you don't just pin with wild abandon. Note in that comment field what speaks to you. Is it the cut? The fabric? The color(s)? The overall sense of the picture? I usually use a simple formula - literally - to note it (like + like = like).

3) Step away. Don't pin for a while. A few days, a week...let it stew.

4) Look at your boards again. Notice what's there. What pieces, what colors, what broad styles show up? For me, I realized that, after the closet culling, it comes down to 6 elements. Maybe that's too many, but it's a start for me.

When I looked, these boards weren't all together. As I looked through things, and remembered what Rosana said, I saw where my style heart was pulling me:

"Buy Less, Choose Well," a la Vivienne Westwood: This is my new closet mantra, and will, from here forward, define my "Creating a New Closet" pursuits.

Weekends Around Town: I need and want to look and feel good on the weekends as well as during the work week.

One and Done: Dresses: See Rosana's comment above. Dresses are an overworked mama's best friend, with virtually no thinking involved (provided you've shaved your legs recently, of course).

Rocker Chic(k): Personally, I'm drawn to leather and punk. I'm drawn to concert Ts and jeans. This is my indulgence, so to speak. It may not be yours.

Borrowed from the Boys: It may be trendy, but when Rosana asked me to name my style icon, I paused ever-so-briefly, and said "Katharine Hepburn." Need I say more?

Ladylike: I was kind of surprised when Rosana called me out on this. A bunch of the pieces I tried on for her needed "sexing up" or "toughening up" to balance their girly, ladylike look. Then I looked at my Pinterest boards, and there it was. [Hand slaps forhead.]

For me, this exercise alone - using Pinterest to notice my own personal trends - has been helpful. Try it, and let me know if it's working for you. Or if you've found another "style definition" trick, share with us, please?

Crazy Week, Crazy Mama, Crazy Style

It's been, well, a bit insane (yes, I've typed that pretty much every week recently), with quite a few ups and downs. But in between the mama duties and the DayJob, I have managed a little bit of style. So because I'm looking forward to my weekend with excrutiating enthusiasm, here's a look back at my week.

But before we get to my week, let's look ahead at next. There are some pretty cool style events, namely the opening of a Brand New Nordstrom Rack in Tyson's and the District Sample Sale. I'm hoping I can make it to the former's opening/blogger preview on Monday, though it's a haul for me from the DayJob, as I lurv me some Nordstrom Rack. Tuesday's been on the calendar forever, and I had my calendar reminder set to buy my DSS VIP ticket as soon as they went on sale. Watch this space over the weekend or Monday for a "how to DSS like a pro" post.

Lastly, don't forget the Swap N' Shop next Saturday. I did a quick post earlier this week on Dewdrop's most-sought-after-swap event. Be sure and check it out.

Top row, L-R: Prompted by TrainerJen's newsletter article and my friend's guest post while we were away, about updating your workout gear, I did (via Target, of course), and then was shocked at the guns I had; the guns spurred me to try my boots with skinnies, which I hadn't been able to do, ever; The Bean, my own personal Supergirl, is a happy kindergartner; my event "pregame" has changed: a nutrition-packed smoothie before heading out for the night

Middle row, L-R: A cicada wing The Bean found, which I expected would be her favorite part of the day, but wasn't - it was "chasing the boys on the playground;" my first "dressy shorts" venture, which was a huge hit, thanks to more Target style and some vintage touches; the set up for a Suri's Burn Book book party PR shot; my +1 for the book party, dear friend @travelinjames, rockin' the retro glam (and paying for our parking meter before our lovely Kaz Sushi dinner)

Bottom row, L-R: all smiles as he showed me his seat from his first partial day at preschool (the #sadmama #proudmama tweets were abundant this week); The Bean and her dear friend walking home from school, lead by Bean No.2, all with umbrellas against the sun; my pile o' sleeping babes in our bed, so we could break down his crib and assemble the Big Boy Bed in its place last night (more #sadmama #proudmama); this morning's colors, in the hopes of getting through today's insanity

Style Dilemma: What to Wear to a Conference

Next week, I head out to staff a conference booth at a Big Industry Conference in San Diego. All of our Big Wigs are going, and all of our clients' Big Wigs are going. So we have a booth in the Big Exhibit Hall.

Guess who's the Booth Babe?

We all get to wear the ubiquitous corporate logo polo, which is fine, even expected. There is something to be said for corporate branding.We'll have navy blue ones, and a red one, I think. And while I haven't quite gotten to the concept of packing for the trip yet (I'm a night before - even morning-of - packer), I do know that I have a serious hole in my closet that I need to fill before I go.

Or the conference attendees will get a bit of a show.

You see, I'm bottom-less.

I literally don't have any pants that fit. Nor do I have any skirts - at least none that would pair professionally enough with a polo shirt (my new weekend favorite denim mini skirt that hits just below, well, you know, probably wouldn't be appropriate).

So off to the mall I go.

I've been plotting a shopping trip with another recently-reduced girlfriend; we're in search of jeans. We'll also now be in search of conference-appropriate bottoms. To expedite our trip and leave more time for our jeans shopping and, well, the cocktail and dinner portion of our day, I've done a little research. Yes, it's mildly predictable in its sources, but when you're honestly looking for servicable, professional, well-fitting pants or skirts that won't break the proverbial bank, there are a few dependable retailers to which we can turn.

Banana Republic Jackson fit linen-cotton button-tab trousers: The first thought is (regrettably? predictably? sadly?) khakis. That being said, a paler color, the pretty and flattering tab front, and elegant linen blend add a teensy bit of style.

Gap Perfect trouser linen pants: Again with the khaki-like shades (when you've got to pair both with navy and red, the neutral works) and linen elegance. Since I'm flying blind on fit and size at the moment, with this new #healthyme body and all, I'm going to have to try on a slew of choices, I'd expect.

Old Navy The Sweetheart Perfect Khakis: The classic. The original. Serviceable. That being said, if they fit well, they could really do the trick. For this conference.

The Limited Cassidy Linen Flare Pants: True, they're not in the neutral tan zone, but a girl's gotta push the envelope a little, doesn't she? It's possible this fit, with the slightly higher waist and flared leg, could work. Also, a heathered blue would work as a neutral.

I am a Booth Babe, and, in my book, I should use my relative assets to draw people to our booth. That means showing my gams (will also be carefully considering my heeled shoe options, to accentuate my sculpted calves, thankyouverymuch), which means: skirts.

Banana Republic Chino pencil skirt: It's a classic, but I've picked grey here, just for a little twist. A little one. Plus, grey is really, really pretty, and I'm envisioning kelly green bowed blouses and soft autmnal knits on top of this in just a few short months.

Banana Republic Dayna ponte knit mini skirt: I know, I know, it's a mini skirt. I also know that mini skirts may or may not be appropriate to professional activities. But the color is so pretty, the knit forgiving, and, if I try it on and the cut isn't too short, well, go gams go. Pairing it with a slightly lower heel (Lillybee Kates in blush, for example) and that navy polo would have a pretty retro vibe.

Banana Republic Heritage Military pencil skirt: I'm a sucker for anything military. I love the tailored detailing on this, and the tan is just a little softer and deeper than Regular Ol' Khaki. Beyond the conference, this staple has all sorts of styling and accessorizing possibilities.

Banana Republic Welt pocket pencil skirt: The seam. The welt pockets. The color. So it won't pair (in a mildly stuffy conference setting, at least) with a red polo. I think I can swing the navy polo. And it's so very, very pretty.

(Yes, I realize that all of my skirt choices are Banana. What of it?)

Banana Republic Slim ankle pant (already gone from the site, but another slim fit ankle pant here), Gap Perfect Khaki pants in lava orange, Gap Slim cropped refined pants in citron, T Tahari Roberta Pants, Lauren Ralph Lauren Nicklaus Cotton Twill Sailor Pants, Rachel Zoe Pants Hutton Flare, Sonia Rykiel Pants Color Block, The Limited Drew Sleek Ankle Pant in pink

So there isn't anything particularly crazy in here, but these choices are all unexpected enough in either color, cut, or detail to satisfy this I-Refuse-to-March-to-Anyone-Else's-Drum Girl. Whether cropped or ankle, on-trend orange, buttoned, or bright, each of these pants (and I must say, I'm really always drawn to skirts first) has a Leetle Something. Not all of them are affordable, but some of them certainly are, and they're interesting enough to add to my closet and I can happily get substantial wear out of them.

Admittedly, this post covers Bottoms. It's specifically for those of you (and me!) who have to wear some prescribed top to an Official Function. What to Wear to a Conference still has lots of answers. There are business casual conferences, business dress conferences, and even, well, there's Comic-Con. For some other tips on conference wear, head over to these friendly bloggers for their takes:

• Vyque of Fasshonaburu asked three local bloggers to put together some conference-worthy looks, here.
• Alison of Wardrobe Oxygen authored some basic conference fashion rules, then breaks it down into a few different types of conferences, here.
• Naina of Style'N shared her fashion conference look, which I think you could definitely take to another, not-as-conservative-but-still-businessy conference, here.
• Emily of Capital Style dissects the current boys' shirt trend and puts together a look (and some options) I think perfect for a conference attendee who's both professional and stylish, here.

Guest Post: Wardrobe Oxygen on Being a Stylish Mom

A while back, in anticipation of an actual vacation, I asked a few online friends if they would be so kind as to "pen" a guest post for me while I'm away. I realized after the fact that the women I've asked all have voices that have become important to me - all for different reasons. So I'd like to share them with you.

Alison of Wardrobe Oxygen has a smart, sassy, straightforward, and sweet (have you seen her daughter on Instagram?) way of giving plain 'ol the best style advice. She is, truth be told, my blogging teacher. She walks the delicate balance between advice, outfit posts, and just enough of her personal life to make sure you know tht She's Real. Here's what she has to say.

_______________________________

It truly is possible to balance family and fashion, to have style even if you have little ones in your brood. DC Celine is proof positive that you can be stylish and still be a spectacular parent.

Do you know the name of five different Real Housewives? Have you read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy? How many times have you visited Target in the past month? If you have time for these activities, you have time to infuse fashion into your life, and I will give you a few tips on how to do it without being overwhelmed, stressed, or short on time.

1. First things first – if you haven’t done so in the past year, get a professional bra fitting. This doesn’t mean Lane Bryant, you want to visit a high-end department store or specialty boutique where the staff has been trained for hours on the proper way to fit one for a bra. Get at least two bras a year – one nude, one black.

2. Buy a simple wardrobe. There is no need for a closet full of the hottest trends (or a closet full of dry-clean only designer duds) to be stylish. You don’t need a dozen pair of shoes or six different washes of denim in your drawer. Solid colors, machine-washable fabrics, pieces that mix and match with ease. Check my list of wardrobe staples for some suggestions.

3. Shop online. Which would you rather do on a Saturday morning – wrangle toddlers through aisles of a department store, trying to ignore glares as they scream and yank dresses off hangers, spend an hour surfing the ‘net and using the rest of the time to spend quality time with your family? I do 90% of my clothing shopping online. I stick to brands and retailers I know fit, and have great exchange and return policies. I have online shopped while nursing, with a baby asleep on my chest, on my lunch hour at work. Not only do I buy clothing online, I also purchase beauty products, diapers, books, and homegoods. I go to stores only for specific items that I can’t find online or I need to try on in person. The less time in the mall, the more time to spend with the family.

4. Focus on style, not trend. Think of popular style icons – they have almost a uniform they wear every day, not a huge variety of colors and silhouettes. Anna Wintour has had the same bob haircut for eons, Carolina Herrera is known for her crisp white shirts, even Rachel Zoe has a uniform of downtown boho style that doesn’t change drastically from season to season. Create a small, core wardrobe and just add minor details to keep it current.

5. Have a “Me Day” every other month. Just one day every eight weeks will drastically change your outlook and personal style. Get your partner, best friend, or a babysitter just for a few hours six times a year for a lifetime of confidence and style. Use this day to get your hair cut, your roots touched up. Get your brows waxed, a professional pedicure, maybe a facial or massage. Read recent magazines focusing on fashion to stay current. On this day get the mall shopping done that you can’t get done online. During this time, treat yourself to a glass of wine or an iced latte and find the pleasure in a day to yourself, focusing on yourself. This may seem selfish, but you’re a better caregiver if you yourself are in great condition and calm.

6. Give yourself a break! Don’t be so hard on yourself, no one is perfect. Creating a stylish exterior will improve your outlook and self-confidence, but worrying too much of it will creat imbalance in your life. Small steps – choosing a solid over a print, buying a more classic cut of jean, purchasing quality instead of quantity will make big differences with little time and effort. Care for yourself, and you can better care for others!

What's In My Purse?

Allie did this a while back, I copied, and then, after lugging what felt like a 500lb purse to my afternoon Target break, I realized It Was Time To Clean Out My Purse.

So I emptied my purse.

And then I took a picture. I stood on my office chair, so I could get a good angle for you. The guy whose name I don't know might have walked by and might have thought I was crazy. Maybe.

So here's what's in my orange and ecru Adrienne Vittadini canvas embroidered bag I scored at the Metro Center Filene's back when I worked downtown. Which would be, you know, over 10 years ago.

I love this purse.

We'll start, oh, at the underpants in the bottom left hand corner.

Ariel underpants for the dress rehearsal day in which we went to about 500 places and had multiple outfits. For The Bean, people, for The Bean.
Trident Layers Orchard Peach Ripe Mango. I think there's literally one piece left.
Random piece of cookie box (animal crackers, perhaps)
Beloved Phillies wallet. A little dirty.
Mama tools: baggie with notebook and crayons, unopened pack of Go Fish! cards

And going down the next "column," new-ish case for the now defunct Droid X that I dropped in the Atlantic Ocean Memorial Day weekend. New Droid Razor naturally doesn't fit into said case.
Keys, on my mommy's lifeguarding laniard, complete with working whistle that Bean No.2 loves to blow. Loudly.
Kiehl's Avocado Eye Cream, which I threw in my bag on Memorial Day because I'd forgotten to pack it in my cosmetic case before we went home from the beach.
Receipt from "our guys" who did the oil & filter change on our Swagger Wagon yesterday
Boogie Wipes. A godsend.

Going back up, my bright blue Target sunglasses in the bag from my The Limited tortiseshell sunglasses
Pipecleaner bracelets and earrings bestowed upon me after The Bean's first dance recital
The Bean's Ariel sunglasses
Pink glitter calling card case, courtesy of LOFT about 2 years ago
Container Store coupon I will 99.9% never use
Mama tools: baggie o' snacks I should probably refresh, seeing as the raisins are all smooshed together and the "jelly bar" (translation: cereal bar) is probably disintegrated in its package

Next column to the right starts with Mama's snacks: Ka-Me rice crackers
Random business cards
Fun contact lens case, courtesy of Target, of course
Cosmetics, as if I ever use them from this bag: MAC lip pencil, Tarte lip stain, a peachy glittery gloss, Bobbi Brown concealer, another peachy gloss (birchbox, most of them)
Gold-toned polishes: A Color Club one that stained my nails, and my beloved Chanel Peridot, which doesn't. Just in case I find time for a mani/pedi
Bean No.2's Batman sunglasses he only wears on top of his head like me if he ever wears them
Baggie o' Cheez-Its
Key to the Swagger Wagon
Random Change

Back up, a pen
CVS version of Emergen-C, pretending that I take my vitamins
Washingtonian Cheap Eats issue
Almay powder and blush stuff I bought in an emergency
Coupons from The Front Row, most of which are probably already expired
Wet nap, probably from Rocklands
Random pile of receipts that aren't shoved in my wallet

Back down, a glasses cloth I should keep in a glasses case
Bobby pins from The Bean's first dance recital

There are probably links to a lot of the items above. But, you know, I'm not going to link this time. That's what Google is for.

The scary part of this whole exercise? The only things that probably will exit my purse, thus making it lighter than 500lbs? The rancom box piece, the change in my wallet, and the bobby pins. That's probably only 1lb, if I'm lucky. 499 to go.

Taking Stacy London's Personal Advice Straight to The Limited

2 Saturdays - gasp! - 3 Saturdays ago, I was lucky enough to meet a modern style icon. Quibble, quabble, some of you may or may not put Ms. Stacy London in the “Icon” category, but my dear friends, I do.

There are a bazillion style shows out there, ranging from the campy “Ambush Makeover” (c’mon, you know you’ve been sucked in on a sick day - or 3) to the tear-inducing style staple of Stacy & her partner-in-crime Clinton Kelly’s, What Not to Wear. Make it easy for those who just can’t make the leap into loving themselves, and therefore dressing the part, is really what it’s about. If you ask me. Which you didn’t, but it’s my blog, so I’ll tell you.

Allie of Wardrobe Oxygen was kind enough to invite me and The Bean along when she interviewed Stacy during the Westfield Style Tour. She brought her E, and we made it a Ladies-Who-Lunch (Over Pizza) Day of it. Allie’s post on our outing shares all the nitty gritty, along with some great tips from Stacy herself.

Given my #healthyme journey, I was curious - when I got the chance to meet Stacy for a few minutes - to ask her opinion of what I should wear when I reach my goal weight. Between Stacy’s Style for Hire fit-you-based-on-the-geometry-of-your-body concept and being at, well, you know, The Mall, I figured it was prime Stacy London territory.

The Bean borrowing E's "purse" and princesses while we waited for Allie to interview Stacy. The Bean - in her precociousness - waiting in line to meet Stacy. We waited a lot that day.

Gracious as can be, Stacy was enamored of The Bean immediately - scooped her up in her arms right off the bat. Mama had to wait until they were done gushing over outfits and flirting - and The Bean was literally running circles around me - before I could ask her about “what to wear when I get there.”

The Bean handing over our ticket to the also gracious Marketing Director for Westfield (wish I'd noted his name - he really was a sweetheart). Stacy gushing over The Bean's H&M Kids gold brocade dress, and me looking, well, from behind is. not. flattering.

Her answer? Don’t wait. “First, I love your jean.” Then she went on to convince me that “you’re doing yourself a disservice” if you wait until you reach your weight loss goal. Find a few pieces - you don’t have to spend a lot, she reminded me - that fit you NOW. “Wearing those clothes that fit can be a real motivator.”

Allie snapped this (and all of the "from behind" shots, for that matter) from the sidelines while her E ran circles around her. Also, blurry side view evidence that my ensemble wasn't as unflattering as it looks from behind. Stacy considering my question, perhaps, as The Bean swings from me, enhancing the back fat view of my undergarments. But my jeans fit!

As surprising as it was, and as much as it flies in the face of my pledge to Buy Nothing New Until Then, it didn’t take even a little bit of arm twisting to convince me that she’s right. I’m lucky that I’ve not heeded her TV advice to clean out my closet and keep only what I wear right now. I’ve kept pre-Bean clothes tucked away, and have periodically tried them on. Much to my pleasant surprise, they fit. The jeans I was wearing that day, for example, are a pair of DDC Lab jeans H and I bought on our Manhattan honeymoon almost 6 years ago.

With Stacy’s advice in the back of my head, I’ve been keeping an eye out for a cheap(er) piece here, a cheaper piece there. Things that won’t break the bank, but will flatter my body as it finds itself again.

At right, The Bean examining - what else? - the shoes on display for the Westfield Style Tour closet. Her pick? Sparkly yellow-soled sneakers. That's my girl.

Low and behold, into my Inbox popped an email from The Limited. Yup, The Limited. I’m fairly certain I haven’t shopped there in neigh 10 years. I used to use their trousers regularly - they were cut such that they flattered my pre-Bean (heck, my pre-H) body, and they wore well. It was fun to pick up a trendy top or 2 as “going out clothes.” That was when I went out (present week aside, people, present week aside).

What the heck, I said, I’ll go. It might just fit the bill for finding an affordable, well-fitting piece or 2. I put it on the calendar, and RSVPed.

What: Mother's Day In-Store Event

Where: The Limited at Tyson’s

When: Wednesday, May 9, 5-9pm

Why: Deals & discounts, desserts, and flowers for Mom (it’s right before Mother’s Day! How sweet!). You might even make it onto Twitter or facebook (because that’s our goal in life, right) via their event photographer. But seriously, wouldn’t it be fun to have a “society pages photograph” with your mom? I’ve invited my mommy.

Oh, and then I went to the website to, um, pre-shop. These pieces are first up on my dressing room door.

You've read this far? Wow. Impressive. Then you get a bonus link to some ridiculously adorable pics - and eventually a Dancing Bean video - of The Bean and E after meeting Stacy. They're shopping for Shoes. I promise it'll be up soon - having pooey computer problems! But they'll be It's up! over on the DC Celine facebook page!