In Honor Of

Yesterday, I had to attend a service for a friend and colleague. 52, just remarried with a son who'd just joined the Navy and a stepson who needed him. A fun, vibrant human being with stories to tell and a ready laugh.

It wasn't such a terrible thing, picking out my clothes yesterday. It seems trite, I suppose, to be worried about a thing like that when others have lost their heart. All I had to do was reach in the closet and pull out a dress. T can't ever reach next to her, where B's hand should be, and touch him, just to know he's there.

Yesterday's service got me thinking about the last few I've been to...my cousin, last fall. At 37. I'm sure I thought about it, but have no idea what I wore. He wouldn't have cared, of course. My grandmother, last March. Then, I just had to worry about - ahem - access, since I had to pull out ye olde pump in the car on the way there and back. My grandfather, a few years before that...couldn't tell you.

But about 3 years ago, I had the awful chore of getting ready for the type of funeral (as if there are any) you never, ever, want to have to go to - a child's. He was 17, the only son of friends. He'd had a heart condition, and went into what should have been relatively routine surgery to repair his heart, and never woke up. The grief is unimaginable.

I was pregnant. I was torn. I in no way wanted to be pregnant in front of his mother, the woman who had just lost her baby. I tried on every outfit in my closet, asking H each time which one made me look the least pregnant. I couldn't bear the idea of hurting her any more. Looking back, I'm sure there is no way she would have ever noticed in her grief. How could she have seen anything at all?

But what struck me at the time, and still does, is the delicate dance of showing respect. Clothing may not be important at such a horrible time, but we still use it to try and honor. We probably fall short, but still, we don our grey and black, and wear an appropriate solemn face. Our servicemen and women - whether military or law enforcement - pull out their dress uniforms and shine their buttons.

We tell ourselves it's to honor. I wonder if it's really to sheild.

A Big, Huge Thank You

Sugarplum and 31204ever are the bestest ever.

As are The Muse, Babsie D, AlaskaGirl, SisInLaw, Mickey, MortorCityGirl, BlueSuitGirl, MeghansMom, and the rest of the women to whom I haven't given a BlogName yet.

It was a good thing I had my grandmom's hankies. After yesterday's post, I did indeed buck up and get in the shower. Then I thought of MotorCityGirl flying all the way in from Detroit just for the baby shower, and I lost it. And on the way up in the car with MeghansMom, we were talking about the support moms-to-be and new moms get from the most unexpected places, and lost it again. I lost it again when I saw MotorCityGirl standing in the kitchen at Sugarplum's place, and again when I read 31204ever's card (she wins the prize for making me cry at the presents part).

It was a wonderful day. A truly blessed thing.

The Girls put together the most perfect non-shower shower. (I have a general aversion to showers, but baby showers are somehow ok - the stuff's just too cute.) A gently themed day (read: no bunnies or duckies, just fantastic colors, like grass green and Schiaparelli pink, flowers and fruit) with an understated, yummy menu.

Homemade chicken salad, fresh, just barely sweet rolls, crostini with asparagus and parmesean, a to-die-for spinach and strawberry salad perfectly dressed with a balsamic vinagrette (Mickey and I kept devouring it after most everyone else was gone; we just stood by the bowl putting demure portions on our plates, then another, and another, and another...), roasted red pepper and feta dip with just a hint of fresh garlic, and lemon raspberry thumbprints, and de-LISH-ious cupcakes dressed in buttery pink and green icing (baby and full-size versions). And we all fell in love with the fruit bush (can't think of a better name for it) my stepmom brought along (pieces of fruit on skewers all stuck in a floral arrangement style thingy) - especially the dark-chocolate dipped pineapple flowers, the leftovers of which are in my fridge right now, and which will be devoured later.

(I had a cupcake for breakfast this morning. After my healthy flax cereal and greek yogurt, of course.)

Drinks were perfect. Still and sparkling water, of course, and a white wine. Then italian sparkling soda...and two custom Muse Preggatinis (TM). Nat (very reasonably) couldn't fly in from LA (she must be designing cocktails for some A-lister) is just amazing and designed the Gingerly Gestating and Sparkle in Your Eye just for us. Both were delicious, but I couldn't get enough of the Gingerly Gestating...I'm a sucker for anything ginger.

Though I would have protested heartily if I'd known about it ahead of time, the Girls' games appealed to all of my competition-freak friends - with the right touch of non-cheesy cheeziness. In honor of Bob's retirement, we played the Price is Right (competition? Everyone wanted to know exactly where the items were purchased, so they could price them properly.) We won't discuss what it means that all the moms in the room lost the mommy purse game (do you have these mommy items in your purse) to two women with no children. I'm proud of my BadMommies. And as a side note, I'm not sure they would admit it, but the Girls even thought about which magazines to pass around for folks to write on: Gourmet. Somehow, completely by chance, I ended up with the one with Michel Richard on the cover - genius.

The Bean's going to be dressed well - especially with gifts from such stylish ladies as were in the room yesterday. Who knew Carter, Gerber, and Target are such design houses? It goes without saying that the marimekko and Momzillas will help. And BlueSuitGirl found the funniest nursery rhyme book - This Little Piggy Went to Prada (Amy Allen) - nursery rhymes redone with high-style, high-end labels. I laughed so hard at

It goes without saying that the ladies stepped up the style for the afternoon. Nary a sweater set in sight. I don't think there were any pearls, either. We had Pucci-esque tunics, cotton party dresses, and perfectly fitting jeans. As soon as some pics come out from the party, I'll be sure to post.

The Girls thought of everything. My two crafty Girls even made little pink and green purses stuffed with essentials like gum, tissues, cocktail recipes, and custom M&Ms (a new must-do for any event, in my book).

I can't thank you enough, Sugarplum and 31204ever. I only hope that when it comes time for the next party in your honor, I can return the favor as thoughtfully as you.

A Moment in a Stylish Life

I'm having a hard time today.


It kind of goes along with the territory of carrying a child.




My absolutely wonderful girlfriends are throwing me a baby shower today. I'm so grateful. 25 of the most stunning, strong, and supportive women in my life will be there to celebrate this amazing thing called a baby. In a few weeks, my mother and mother-in-law are joining forces to throw another shower. Again, surrounded by women who only want the best for me and the baby.





We've been getting gifts, hand-me-downs, and loaners from everyone we can possibly think of - and from people we didn't expect. We have cribs, stollers, Pack-n-Plays. I have dresses and tops galore. We haven't really had to spend a dime so far on anything, thanks to the generosity of those around us.





Every day, someone does something nice. Just plain nice. Total strangers. There's the lady who stood up from her seat on the metro. The saleswoman at Sephora who kindly asked if we know the sex of the baby. And the man at the bowling alley yesterday drilled a bigger hole in the ball (I needed a larger hole for a lighter ball, which they didn't have) just for me. The 66-year old man sitting in front of us at the Nats v. Os game last night gave me one of his precious baseballs (picked up from Braves batting practice a few weeks ago) for the baby. There's an amazing kindness in the air for pregnant ladies. It's a lovely, joyful thing.





And I'm having a horrible time this morning. Weepy, tired, just needing kindness. Which everyone's giving me, bless them. So last night I got out my grandmother's handkerchiefs to have on hand today, and I made sure I have the tokens of gratitude I found for my girlfriends. As soon as I finish writing this, I'll buck up and jump in the shower, then find the emotional strength to put on makeup, brush my hair, and pick out a dress (somehow, in all of this, that's the least appealing part of it). We'll caravan up to Germantown and be blessed by more goodness and kindness.





And I'll sit there in my too summery halter (because it's the only thing I feel like wearing), clutching Grandmom's hankies, and weeping gently for all that I have.