Style Dilemma: How to do respectful and still rock it

Kate of Perpetually Nesting tweeted me last week, asking for help with what to wear to a conservative wedding in May - she can't show arms, shoulders, or legs. Hmmmph. It's an afternoon wedding, and we're not sure about the reception venue.

Eeek! This. Is. A. Challenge.

My first thoughts take me to a long, formal gown. But no. It's an afternoon wedding. Unless they're bucking convention (and isn't everyone these days?) and going black tie in the middle of the afternoon, formal in the afternoon just won't work.

Second thoughts take me to, unfortunately, an old lady pants suit. No.

Next, I'm leaping to a women's tuxedo, a la Michelle Pfeiffer or any of the Major Leading Ladies who've gone there in the past 15 years. But truth be told, as amazing as that could be, it would be leap for a Normal Person to go there at a Normal Person Event. Never mind that this is potentially a traditional crowd (Armenian Orthodox church), in which case a woman in pants is just not what you do. You'd have to have massive amounts of cojones to pull it off. PerpetuallyKate's got 'em, but I don't think that's what she had in mind.

So I'm back to some sort of long dress. Think. Think. Think. Bear with me. Let's call this post Part I. I'm convinced I can find more choices.

South Moon Under has this interesting jersey "maxi dress." I like to call it a gown. While form fitting, the black jersey could be incredibly forgiving. It is black, which is not everyone's first choice for a wedding, and it does have a scooped back. Given my own Orthodox wedding experience, it's nothing a little shawl won't handle, but still.

SMU has a number of other maxi dress choices, but they can be frumpy or too casual, as well as too open. Again, we can solve the "open" problem with a sweater, shawl, or jacket.

Now. The next look is a little tougher to pull off. It would require some very edited jewelry choices (I'd go for brass or gold, structured, geometric pieces, rather than the softer long chains. Keep it out of beachwear and in the HipCoolMamaWear. H&M (will you H&M marketing people please please please put the US merchandise online thankyouverymuch) has this breezy 70s-inspired frock.

Should we end up with a sleeveless dress of some kind, we need to cover up. If the shawl route just isn't covered enough, there's the jacket route. This won't work with all choices (really only with a solid-colored, fitted (read: not flowy) dress), but I'm in love with this bolero. Normally, "bolero" means "something my mom used to wear and I'd try to convince her otherwise," but this thing? I ran a across it on my Friday jaunt to the Atlantic City outlets (more on that later) and fell in love. Must. Find. Way. To. Wear. Or foist it on someone else, like Kate, for me to live vicariously through her fashion.

Stay tuned...I'm on the hunt...

Style Dilemma: November Shoes

Chicago Golden Girl writes:

We have a wedding here this weekend. 6:00 Saturday night. I have a bcbg sateen cotton, deep halter with a bubble skirt dress. It’s a medium golden brown/tan. I wore it too one wedding with gold sandles. What shoes should I wear in November? Are retro satin cream peep toe pumps too heavy? New shoes are an option…. Suggestions?

Dear Golden Girl:

First thing to consider, other than the time of day - the venue. If it's a fancy-schmancy place, you could absolutely wear gold sandals, even in November. And while I'm a fan of sateen pumps, especially ones with a retro feel, I think that, unless they're a really soft ivory cream, yup, they might weigh down the dress, rather than grounding it.

If you are up for buying new shoes (and who isn't?), my suggestion would be to go for a splash of unexpected color. Treat the dress as a neutral (somewhere a long time ago I wrote about brown as a true neutral, rather than a color), and find a pair of airy, delicate pumps or sandals in any color you like - yellow, red, royal blue, and yes, even green (I think that's my front runner suggestion). If only Valentino had had the foresight to make these lovelies in green instead of predictable red...riiiiiiight...as if I'd have the money...a girl can dream, can't she?

Red Shoes (or How to Make Wedding Style Your Style)

(Admittedly, BabySis is getting a lot of press lately. Can I help it if she has style?)

A bunch of you went through dress selection and M crises for measurements on the 'Maids dress for BabySis' wedding. Wanted to share a little...

I find that one of the toughest thing for brides I know is how to personalize not just their wedding, but their look. Whether it's the color of the dress, an heirloom piece, or carrying grandmom's prayer book, everyone's trying to find a way to say, "Hey! I'm all dressed up in this big dress, but I'm still me!"

So what did BabySis do? She wore Red Shoes.

It was perfect. Beautiful Red Shoes on her tootsies. A Statement, capital "S."

Oh, and here's a final look at the 'Maids and our dress choices. And no, I wasn't purposefully hiding The Bean with two bouquets. The Bean got billing in the program for heaven's sake.

Thanks to one of the coolest photographers ever. Kim and I got to ride in the '37 Plymouth with suicide doors with her (BabySis had arranged for 7 antique and classic cars to transport from church to party; our uncle is a Car Guy). Not only did she not blink an eye when the yours truly surreptitiously changed the bride's plans to make a pit stop for black & white milkshakes at the Thunderbird, she thought it was one of the coolest photo ops she's done in her 15+ years of shooting weddings - photos by Jen Capone

Style Dilemma: No Emotional Space to Shop

Baby B's had a couple of rough weeks (ok, months) at work. She's drained. The light is finally visible at the end of the tunnel, but a few weeks ago, "buried" would be the way to describe her work life. No emotional space to do anything but work and crash after work.

But still, she had a wedding to go to two weeks ago. In Charleston, SC. Where it's warm(er). And digging something out of her closet, let alone hitting the spring sales, to find something to wear was the last thing on her mind.

So the Wednesday before the wedding, she trudges home. And draped elegantly on her bed is a lovely dress.

"For you to wear to the wedding," says her boyfriend, RV.

He's such a doll that he braved Nordstrom all by his lonesome to pick up the Jones New York number at left. And by all accounts (I've seen the pictures - she looked lovely), he did very well. Congratulations, RV, you've got brownie points extraordinaire.

Off to Baby Sis' Wedding

Yeah, so the travels aren't quite over...one more stop in Philly. Via Lancaster (pick up Mom-Mom) and Broomall (where the church is), PA.

Thanks to all who voted in the long ago 'maids dress vote. Of course, I had to get a completely different one, due to The Bean, but it's similar. Sort of. It's a v-neck, and that's about it.

Long story about measurements, shipping, and tailoring (bought big because who knew how big I would or wouldn't be). Maria of Rose's Custom Tailoring in Bethesda had to take about 6-8 inches out of the dress after our return to the States on Tuesday. H is being a dear and picking it up, since it wasn't ready yesterday when I stopped by with Dear Ol' Dad (had to take it in more and cover the Girls better - they keep growing).

But nevertheless, am spurning weather to wear the Old Navy halter I bought pre-Greece to tonight's rehearsal. Rehearsal's inside, after all, right?

More after the wedding...